Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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