he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
