I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
