1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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