Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
