Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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