honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
