It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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