don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
