I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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