Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
