Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
