Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Mom said you looked used
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
