oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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