sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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