Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
