i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My ass is underappreciated
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
