I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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