Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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