lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize