Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
