Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My cat gives me a boner
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
