who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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