I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
