how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
