sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
