He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So many bounce houses so little time
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
