He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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