I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize