duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He did a backflip because drugs
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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