so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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