shes about as inviting as chlamydia
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
