You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
