p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
