walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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