So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
