hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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