is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
