when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
