is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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