They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
