I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
