i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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