Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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