I want to have your abortion
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
