I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
