Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this boner is exhausting
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
When are your genitals available?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
