Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
