can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
