I want to have your abortion
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
