i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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