Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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