im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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