are you still at the devil's house?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
