does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
