I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
