I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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