Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want to stick my p in your. b.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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