Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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