He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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