Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
