are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize