Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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