there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
