Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You made out with two different species that night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
