Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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