Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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