there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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