there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
