just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
