so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
