They should really pass out barf bags in church
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
