We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize